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July 19, 2004
Coffee with Calvin
This Sunday past was one of my favorite Sunday mornings in recent memory. Brook had to teach the young communicants class, so I tagged along to hang out in the Geneva House for an hour or so before church. 
I chatted with Steve (a bald man) about his son child, the pronunciation of Augustine, his youngest daughter's first experience with throwing up, and the merits of two coffee filters vs. one, and with (another) Steve and his daughter Jessie about green eggs (not the Dr. Suess variety), snoring dads, and the Psalms.
As I settled into one of the big comfy gray chairs, I noticed on the piano a display of several new books from the Christian Classics Bible Studies series from InterVarsity Press (I admit I can be skeptical of such Bible study guides, but I was actually quite impressed with the thought-provoking, non-obvious questions). I grabbed the one on Calvin, hoping to get a Reformed soundbite or two.
Though I was only half-paying attention to what I was reading (as I was also half-listening to the Steves' musings as to whether Grace Chapelites knew their theology or their coffee better), I was quite taken with some of Calvin's thoughts on prayer (excerpted from his Institutes of the Christian Religion). According to Calvin, the purpose of prayer is
first, that our heart may always be inflamed with a serious and ardent desire of seeking, loving and serving him, while we accustom ourselves to have recourse to him as a sacred anchor in every necessity
I like the idea of accustoming myself to prayer--it certainly doesn't seem to come naturally, as much as I would like to say otherwise.
secondly, that no desires, no longing whatever, of which we are ashamed to make him the witness, may enter our minds, while we learn to place all our wishes in his sight, and thus pour out our heart before him
This struck me because it fits nicely with several conversations we've had around the Grand as of late--being brave with our longings, hoping without shame.
and, lastly, that we may be prepared to receive all his benefits with true gratitude and thanksgiving, while our prayers remind us that they proceed from his hand. Moreover, having obtained what we asked, being persuaded that he has answered our prayers, we are led to long more earnestly for his favour, and at the same time have greater pleasure in welcoming the blessings which we perceive to have been obtained by our prayers.
And at this last part, I was undone. I have rarely known a time in my life where I have felt so deeply blessed as I do these days. And while it's not been all that hard to remember that such amazing blessings come from God's hand or to be truly grateful, I have continued to struggle with a longstanding Cinderella complex when it comes to good gifts--that is, I fear that my life will turn back into a pumpkin and mice and rags at midnight. In other words, [lie from the pit] Don't love or enjoy anything too much, especially if it's really, really good, you'll only be that much more disappointed when it ends.[/lie from the pit] So to think that a proper response to answered prayer is to long more earnestly for his favor, to have more pleasure in his blessings is attractive, yes, but so very counter-intuitive, or at least counter-habitual.
Posted by Renae at July 19, 2004 09:20 AM
i, too, struggle with lies regarding God's blessings in my life. i tend to believe 1) that one blessing means i won't get another, and 2) that something bad will happen to *balance out* the good. that's just horrible! at the root of such falsehoods, i think, is the difficulty in accepting the fact that all goodness is from the hand of God -- that i really had nothing to do with earning such favor.
Posted by rebecca at July 20, 2004 05:42 PM
I think that to an extent, we all struggle with the concept of blessings... that we can earn them, or that God uses them as some sort of bargaining tool, or that once we have them, we'd better not enjoy them too much or something bad will happen.
It's sort of tangental, but not really...Paige (Benton) Brown wrote a really good article on singleness back in the day when she was, in fact, still single. It's a good article to be read by singles, but I think it has a lot of value for anyone. I think often of this portion in particular:
Can God be any less good to me on the average Tuesday morning than he was on that monumental Friday afternoon when he hung on a cross in my place? The answer is a resounding NO. God will not be less good to me tomorrow either, because God cannot be less good to me. His goodness is not the effect of his disposition but the essence of his person—not an attitude but an attribute.
I long to be married. My younger sister got married two months ago. She now has an adoring husband, a beautiful home, a whirlpool bathtub, and all-new Corningware. Is God being any less good to me than he is to her? The answer is a resounding NO. God will not be less good to me because God cannot be less good to me. It is a cosmic impossibility for God to shortchange any of his children. God can no more live in me apart from the perfect fullness of his goodness and grace than I can live in Nashville and not be white. If he fluctuated one quark in his goodness, he would cease to be God.
Anyway, she makes many other good points that are definitely worth the reading. Read it here:
http://www.pcpc.org/ministries/singles/singledout.asp
Posted by bethany at July 21, 2004 02:40 AM
i just checked the link for Steve and that is a fantastic pic!
Posted by charity at July 22, 2004 09:15 AM
I can't figure out what he has in his hand, though. Just for the record, I'm a big Steve Odmark fan--he falls in my I-probably-could-be-embarrassed-by-how-much-I-like-them -but-am-not category of people.
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